1.3 pound yesterday! Holy crap! Half a pound better than yesterday and blowing away the 8 tenths daily expected. I’m absolutely astounded!
Yesterday morning I got curious. I take pics daily in a full length mirror I bough specifically for this. I didn’t use to take pictures every time I was trying to lose weight, because nothing seemed to change. I was more of an exercise in frustration than anything else, like a geeky boy in high school looking at girls knowing he’d never have one. Pure frustration! AND in such, a person tends to give up. I’d given up on losing this weight, on being the fit, thin mountain biker! I was moose! I rode hard, and got heavier with muscle instead of lighter. Weight seemed to be my lot, so I was ready to bear it. I was strong, but fat.
At any rate I figured I was losing some weight finally so I would look at some before and after for myself, of myself. I’d not been looking at the pics I was taking. For what should seem obvious, I had no intention of beating myself some more with pics of a fat man in skivvies. So I looked. I don’t see much change really, a few pounds on a 6 foot tall man aren’t very noticeable, even mostly naked. I’ll continue to take daily pics and maybe at about 20 pounds something of note will begin to shine through.
Have you ever been doing something, and wondered what the end will look like? Well, that’s me! What will this body look like at 185? Hell, I haven’t seen less than 200 pounds since high school, more than 30 years now! That’s how long I’ve been fat, most of my life! Before that short stint of heavy working out and calorie counting, I was fat! Most of my 49 years I’ve been fat! Not a bit fat but obese kinda fat! So I wonder,.. What will 220 look like, hell what will 240 look like? That doesn’t seem so far away now. I am scared a bit, and that is fuel. I knew this would be more of an emotional journey than anything else when I started and maybe that emotion is what is driving me to stay with it. Well, that and the incredible scale numbers. I know the world treats thin people differently. I’ve seen the stuff where some normally super fit person puts on a fat suit and make up and goes out to live for a few hours as a fat person. It’s true that people are generally less polite, less courteous as though the fat person doesn’t exist. I’ve not existed in their eyes for a long time, for the majority of my experience, and that has the potential to change. So I’m scared!
I have a withings scale. I’ve had it for some years now so it’s a older model but it works well and the account I use to track my weight is all there, intact. My last, lowest weight was 247.1 on May 23rd, 2012. Then I was in the hey day of mountain biking! I felt fast anyway, but wasn’t really. Still fat, still 60 lbs overweight! 60! That’s a lot of heft to haul around on two wheels. I’ll try and find some old pics but no promises. I hated pictures of me! Still do,..
BobLosesWeight 